There were no testimonies for Chapter 6, as you may have noticed. The topic is heavy, and what was heavier still was the fact that those who had wished to write about their experiences with pornography addictions, chose instead to call rather than write about it. The conversation felt like it was their first time acknowledging this tragedy in their life, and indeed, could not bring themselves to write it out, even anonymously to be read. the Shame that underlies this darkest of corners of internet usage, should highlight for us the necessity to take action.
Thankfully, the chapter itself was written by an anonymous contributor, who intertwined his own experience with the facts of the issue. the essay is deeply moving.
For Chapter 7, the final set of testimonies are reflections on the experience of struggling with mental health alongside the use of technology, but like Chapter 6, the actual research chapter was written by an anonymous contributor who chose to intertwine their experience into their research.
* * *
Anonymous Contribution for Chapter 7: “Depression Culture”
There’s this trend I’ve noticed on Instagram where Hutterite young people, - and in my experience - mostly girls, post super depressing content, especially via stories and often those only shared with close friends. I’ve been that teenager that’s all in their feelings, that loves saving deep, depressing quotes on Pinterest and marinating in my gloomy playlists. I have struggled with feeling down and depressed, I’d go so far as to say that’s perfectly normal for anyone, especially teens. I know I wasn't alone in that.
However, there’s a difference between being that teen versus posting borderline suicidal content on your Instagram stories for all your friends and perhaps even all the world to see! That’s a public cry for help if I ever saw one... or maybe attention. I once fell into the trap of responding to a serial sad-poster’s story with a little pick-me-up and quickly got wrapped up in helping them solve a problem with a friend, one that could easily have been fixed if they had just confronted the friend personally. It was a mess, I got stressed out and never made that mistake again.
I call it depression culture because it’s become a norm on social media. It’s almost as if it’s a cool thing to do. Posting depressing quotes or thoughts to be validated by their followers responding to them. It’s frustrating because it’s in no way improving whatever mental issues they’re struggling with and it’s a blatant cry for attention. I’ve even fully dismissed the fact that they do struggle with depression because there’s no way they’d be public about it in that way. Now, I believe it’s something different, I view it as a weird addiction, where young people are hooked on getting their sad feelings validated and noticed by their friends on social media.
It’s something I hate so much because there are problems that some 15-years-olds have that their other 15-year-old friends should not have to deal with like this. It’s scary. I responded to that serial sad poster because I knew them and what they posted freaked me out. As their friend I was genuinely concerned and felt betrayed when I realized I was actually being used for attention. It’s not ok and I don't know who to blame, their parents for not getting them the help they need, or their siblings and friends for not telling their parents.
Maybe I’m overreacting but I do not believe that these “sad-traps” are okay. Celebrities take pride in posting “real moments,” and not just their perfect, flawless lives, but this is too real. Getting that dopamine hit off of superficial validation is not worth the damage it causes to them and their followers. There’s a certain horrible dynamic that breeds off of online interactions like this. It creates a clear divide between the giver and the taker, and I have been the giver. It took me YEARS to realize a relationship where I’m giving all the emotional support and receiving none was wearing down my mental health. It got to the point where just starting a conversation with that person gave me anxiety and completely trashed whatever good mood I had because I always knew where the conversation would go. I would help them with their problems and mine would be ignored, literally. Online conversations can be deceivingly one-sided. Serious problems and conversations like that should be had face-to-face with two consenting parties, not where someone posts some borderline suicidal content to scare people into responding over and over again. I’m just over it.
* * *
Anonymous Contribution for Chapter 7: “Depression”
Technology impacts me every day. I am 14 and I struggle with severe depression. Every day I use technology to distract me from the world around me. Instagram, google, YouTube, etc. Social media has created a huge impact on my life, the accounts I follow constantly trigger me. Whether it’s other Instagramers posting their self-harm scars or the latest catastrophe on this collapsing planet. I turn to technology to distract me from my reality because it has been glorified by everyone, in today’s modern world almost everyone has social media, messenger and other entertainment apps. Everyone posts and creates stories on how wonderful their life is, they create a fake “goal”, they make you feel like if you don’t have “that '' kind of life you are missing out. Everyone wants what they don’t have. In one text you can end a friendship, in one text you can ruin someone and make them feel like they are worth nothing.
This is dangerous and I struggle every day because I see these beautiful, thin girls showing their body to the world, I see the likes building up and the comments being made. The comments may come across positively but when you really think about it, comments like “you are so gorgeous, I would totally date you'' make it seem like if you aren’t that thin you aren’t gorgeous, you're not “dateable”. Every day when I log into my Instagram at the crack of dawn, I see post like “ 40 likes and I won’t eat for 2 day” and “100 likes and I won’t cut today” and seeing you’re inbox filled with “you’re so fake, why don’t you kill yourself already”, they make a person feel like their existence is bothering a whole lot of people.
I know I can choose who to follow, but when I have the option to follow negative accounts who understand how I feel I will take that option. When your feed is constantly filled with triggering posts it affects your life, how you act, what you say and what you don’t say. If you can have conversations with teens across the world who understand you, rather than with your own family your choice will usually be the first option. My self-confidence has dropped immensely, before I had Instagram, I didn’t have strangers holding photos over my head or as many hateful discriminating comments following my every move. Social media and technology have changed my life. Yes, it is easier to text up a friend, but it’s also easier to receive comments that tell you that you’re worthless and if you already feel like that it will tear you down to the ground.
Technology has removed me from reality. The movies I watch, the YouTube videos I see; impact my life. They change the way I look at myself, they make me feel like I should give up, they glorified that option.
One thing that is very prudent in society is how much we allow ourselves to be exposed to certain content. The hateful messages I have received on social media has changed me as a person, I have friends who are completely unaware of the dangers and their parents are completely clueless as to what goes on with their technology. I advise parents to check up on their kids and what they do on their personal devices. Your kid could be receiving threatening messages and you are completely unaware. That also changed me, the fact that I hid so much of what was going on in my “online life” from my parents. The time you spend on social media changes you, it makes you keep so many secrets that shouldn’t be kept, it came to the point where I was ready to kill myself because of the content I was exposed too.
It is very important for parents to know what's going on in their kids’ life, before it's too late. We as teenagers often don’t quite realize that we need help, much less how to ask for it. So, stepping up and making sure they are in a safe environment when they are on their technology is so very important. Help your kids and teenagers stay safe, technology itself is not dangerous, but a lot of the people and subjects that we are exposed to, are.
Comments